Stress and Marriage Introduction Stress goes up and down through out our lives. Our adrenalin can be raised by something positive in our lives, something we love to do – this is good stress. And we all can cite examples of bad stress. (We had a nurse share at the dessert evening about the body’s response to stress. It was pretty amazing.) But with either type of stress, our bodies need to recuperate with times of rest. If we don’t, we age prematurely and experience physical and emotional results. Short Spurts of Stress We all go through short spurts when life is stressful. You may be going to grad school, getting vocational training, working on a big project, or beginning a business. Don’t allow short spurts to become a permanent way of life. During these stressful times, you need to make sure you insert times of rest in order to survive. We want to give you some ideas about how to rest. Four Areas of Stress We are going to address four areas that cause stress in our lives, and suggest ways to reduce the stress. Click on a topic to see information: Organizational Stress
Take Action These concepts will not help until you take Action. Below are some action points you can apply in your marriage and in your family life: Sit down weekly and compile schedules for the next month onto one family schedule, so panic does not reign. Don’t overschedule yourself or your children. Determine what your family can handle based on your schedules, the number of family members and each person’s interests. Being a good parent is not determined by how many extracurricular or cultural activities your child is in. Sometimes being a good parent is limiting those activities so life is peaceful. Comfort – I just want to have time to play. We allowed our girls to play one sport a year until they got into middle school, when practice was at school. Allow your children to be children as long as possible Learn to say no so you don’t over-commit yourself. Learn your own limits – one ring circus, three or ten – and live within your limits Know your strengths and weaknesses - helps you say no, helps divvy up the jobs If both of you work, is it absolutely necessary for you both to work full-time? Determine how the household chores are going to be handled equitably. Intentionally reduce stress – slow down the pace, the input (Ann Arundel Mall is an amazing place. It is created to heighten stress by giving you a feast of all the senses. That is fun for a time, but cannot be a way of life) turn off the TV read to each other – mysteries, adventure stories; go to a park – an hour in nature is like four hours elsewhere – Scott’s Cove, Brighton Dam – feed the ducks, draw, take pictures, take a nap, make up a game, have a picnic, hike, look at the different kinds of birds or insects or trees play games – athletic or board games make something together do puzzles – jigsaw or mazes or mind benders, cook together listen to peaceful music Plan to have fun – Regular date nights – swap babysitting; put the kids to bed early, farm them out Regular family times - flip a coin; flag football; act out a bible story; craft; kidnap daddy vacations - sometimes reduced stress – Summit Grove farm out kids for a weekend or an overnight and trade off with other couples – go back home and take a bubble bath together, give each other a massage, have a cup of coffee together take a weekend away as a couple 2-3 times a year – use it as an evaluation time (goals, finances, career changes, etc.) as well as a fun time Resources: Hart, Dr. Archibald D., Adrenalin and Stress, Word Book Publishers, Waco, TX 1986 Stixrud, Ph.D., William R., lecture: “Sleep: The New Frontier for Improving Brain Functions”. Swenson, M.D., Richard A., “How to Deal with Stress in Your Life”, Sandy Cove Soundings, Autumn 2001.
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