Being A Team Prerequisites for Teamwork Acknowledging uniquenesses We are different from each other – personality, physically, values, needs, culture, strengths, talents We are different from every other couple – don’t compare We can start from where we are Regardless of the past, we can start being a team Attitude: we will make this relationship work It is God’s will Process of TeamworkDevelop trust Phil. 2 – God makes it possible 100%/100% Integrity elicits trust Honesty – protect from damage not truth Can I trust you that you won’t hurt me – if I’m vulnerable, if I fail No room for biting, cutting remarks or snide comments – EVER!! Result – safe environment to blossom Determine strengths – character, personality, functional, talents In self In spouse Express appreciation Recognize how your marriage benefits from these strengths Discover differences Enjoy the differences Keep perspective Life would be boring if you were alike Those things which irritate you about each other are usually the flip side of those things you love about each other Recognize how your marriage benefits from these strengths Discern needs Be honest Validate and meet each other’s needs Practicalities of TeamworkStrengthsList 5 strengths you possess – any kind (character, personality, abilities, etc.) List 5 strengths your spouse possesses Share these with each other Express appreciation to each other for these How does your marriage benefit from these strengths? Differences complete the chart below. Put an X on the number that describes you on each quality or trait. Put a circle around the number that best describes your partner. Answer based on how you function in your marriage. (Adapted from Preparing For Marriage by Dennis Rainey.)
Disciplined 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Impulsive Share with each other how you scored the chart for each item. How does your marriage benefit from these differences? Any “aha’s”? Any Needs?
Circle 3 needs below that you have that are met by your partner. Respect Independence Sense of Belonging Acceptance Affection Security Significance Appreciation Freedom to Grow Variety Unconditional Love Boundaries Competency Action Trust Consistency
Other Share these with each other and express appreciation. Put a box around one need that is not being met. Share how you would like it to be met. How will you attempt to meet that unmet need for your spouse? What is one additional thing you will do to improve the teamwork in your marriage?
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